Regret
by HiroEB
Summary: Comic book based. One shot. Yaoi. Takes place after Sven crash lands on Pollux. Sven reflects on his actions, and the aftermath of them.


Disclaimer: Voltron and all related characters (Sven, Lotor, etc) are property of WEP. No profit was made from their use.

As always, the cold, stoic expression on Sven's face gave no hints as to the emotions he was feeling. It was an act that he had mastered well, for even as he laid on a bed in what appeared to be an infirmary of sorts, he showed no signs of feeling the dull pain which coursed though out his body. This trick was especially useful when he did not want to be noticed, which was what Sven hoped for right now. The last thing he wanted was to give one the nurses, who were dressed in simple rustic dresses as they tended to the other patients, a reason to interrupt his thoughts.

Well, not giving them reason to keep Sven from collecting his thoughts would be a more actuate statement. He was still reeling from the crash landing and the events that preceded it. Ignoring the pounding in his head, Sven focussed on what he did know about his current situation. According to the explanation one of the doctors gave him when he came to, he was on a planet named Pollux. Obviously, it had to be some obscure little burg, judging by the gray stone walls that surrounded him and the medical equipment that was at least fifty years behind the times. However, what was happening now was not what was important to him.

In fact, thinking about what he going to next was impossible when the thoughts of his past actions caused his insides to twist with anger and guilt. Guilt was especially painful for Sven, so much so it almost caused his face to contort with pain. He was not used to regret, and as much as he tried to ignore it, the feeling continued to grow and gnaw away at his mind. Almost involuntary, his fist clenched. Why did he do this to himself!

Oh, he did know why. When Allura, in the form of what looked to a goddess, appeared to him in the astral realm, the revelation that she had given shocked him to the core. Queen Merla had been controlling him and he had no power to resist her. At that moment, his mind was clouded with anger and guilt, much like it was now. He felt the need to rebel, to do something by his own will and somehow make up for all the pain he caused the Voltron Force. Judgment and thinking fogged by these emotions, he flew the craft he was in at the attacking robeast. At that point, his own life did not matter, he felt deserved to punished for his weakness.

Obviously, he must have thought his passenger deserved to be punished as well.

Sven fought back a sigh.

Lotor. Technically speaking, that haughty bastard probably did deserve any injury that came upon him. Sven tried, but failed, to reassure himself that most people would agree, however, he had no right to be the one to hand out justice. Not after Lotor saved his life.

But there was more to this guilt, which was currently sinking its fangs deeper into his consciousness, than that. Sven desperately tired rationalize the reason to be anything but the truth. The truth only added shame and more guilt to the mix. The truth of the matter was, he wanted to see Lotor again.

Oh, he was not in love with Lotor, but something leading up to that. It was something more like - Sven frowned at the word - crush? It definitely was easy enough to be attracted physically to the Prince of Korrinoth, with his long silver hair, golden eyes, and firm body. Physical attraction, however, was not all of it. Oh no, that was only the surface. The whole truth, as always, was far more embarrassing.

Sven had never worked in a team as well as he did with Lotor. Their abilities complemented each other so well that they almost functioned as one person. That, Sven concluded, was part of the reason why he felt such an attachment to Lotor after such a short time. Now, there was more to Sven's infatuation with Lotor than that, but he just could not put his finger on it. There was just something about that violent, handsome, pompous, charming man. Maybe it was because he had never experienced a feeling like this before, but he just could not understand it.

No. He would not think about this anymore. Even if he did encounter him once more, Lotor would hate him, and rightly so. The prince might even try to kill him. That thought only caused Sven's stomach to tie into tighter and tighter knots. It would be his punishment; he knew it. He was so sure he was doing the right thing at that time, but know he knew better. There was another solution available than endangering Lotor, and this regret was proof.

But still a part of Sven felt that punishment would be worth it just to see him one more time. It was not natural for Sven to think such a way, but he could not deny it. He would do anything to see Lotor again, no matter how pathetic it sounded and what the consequences might be.


End file.
